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Satan called me spineless

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Hypnotized by the alluring midnight black flowing hair

mimicking the curtains blowing in the ocean’s breath,

I’ve never had such a beautiful image of Satan

as I do right now, as I compose the symphony of my death.

I’m not someone who fancies the ideologies of satanism,

though he is who lurks when I am looking for a friend,

why wouldn’t you want to talk to someone with expertise

in constructing a scene as melodramatic as your end?

It’s not like I have a poor sense of direction or imagination,

it’s just that I get so fixated on the methods that I do NOT like,

for instance, stoning or drowning in a pool filled with sharks,

not fond of guns, asphyxiation or stabbing with a spike.

I tend to obsess over the things that I don’t want to happen

instead of making happen the dreams that I wish,

I’d just hate to have to come to grips with growing soft inside

I wouldn’t want to be remembered as a spineless jellyfish.

 

 

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
 

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Digging in the wrong direction

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I scratched and I clawed my way, several feet up

intuitive, survival instincts had quickly kicked in,

I punched my way through the tamped surface

a ghost of a chance, that I’d let the Devil win.

As I rose up to the surface en route towards the stars

I could feel the chill wind blow against my face,

I looked beside me as I detected a slim glimmer

a headstone reflecting the moonlight in my space.

My name delicately written in a standard Celtic font

my birthdate and yesterdays are joined by a dash,

every sense leaves me in the pulse of my heartbeat

as it feels that my presence turned to dust in a flash.

Too late for regrets, and denial is too long overdue

to die with great dignity and respect I cannot save,

I just have to lie with the realization that I,

have wasted my entire existence digging my grave.

 

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
36 Comments

Posted by on March 21, 2018 in poetry, Uncategorized, writing

 

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Case Closed

I heard someone once say…

you can’t put your arms around a memory.

I’ll never let that get the better of me,

for in a dream you walk the streets,

spray can in your hand

asking the world if it were “FREE?”

 

Desolate streets, hours past midnight

feeling invincible with no one in sight,

Tagging “SK” on concrete walls of buildings

Just laughing throughout the night

 

Carefully, methodically constructing rhymes

written to the melody, sounds and beat,

made by the tones of your Nike, Air Force Ones

as they rhythmically pound on the street.

 

A wildly ridiculous contagious laugh

in which everyone around you knows,

a dark hole exists in everyones soul now

love we all have for you, positively shows.

 

Missing that creativity consuming my life

all the more and more each day,

every time I come up with a new beat to share

well… there’s not much more I can say.

 

I will forever carry the memories with me

remembering the loyalty and love you’ve shown,

with your infamous Woozy Goose tattoo on my leg

I will never walk these desolate streets alone…

 

Miss you Casey, Aka: Case Closed, Woozy Goose

 

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© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

 
35 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2018 in Family, poetry, writing

 

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this day…. (23)

I can’t stand looking at her stand over his bed anymore. It’s so sad to watch somebody’s life fade before their face. It feels so selfish of me to even think about how “I” am feeling about all of this. I’m not the one that is watching my life get pulled away from me, like a tidal wave just came through and washed it all away, without being able to latch on to anything to hold your head above water.

Life is so unfair…

If you believe that, if you “do it all right” it should be easier….. so wrong.
Just pretending to control the uncontrollable… Delusional..

There is nothing you can do to go back in time, to right the wrong. There is no way to go back and make anyone pay for what they have taken away from you…. that would just mean that you were able to put a price on it. There is nothing you can do but sit there and blame…. blame god.. blame yourself.. blame the people that are responsible.. blame society… ?

Revenge! What a silly word. Does nothing.. Angrily hopeless..

Although it is perfectly ok to feel pain in your own way. However you wish to escape. Whether it be harmful to yourself or others…. that’s your wish. We are given the right to do as we wish, as long as we know of the consequences that await.

Mom I understand your pain and I wish you nothing but calmness of your mind…..

I’m so sorry you are going through this

 

 

© 2015 Joseph Emerson WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 28, 2015 in Family

 

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