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Author Archives: Joseph Emerson

About Joseph Emerson

So this is what you get. I'm sorry if you opened this package expecting gold, diamonds, and jewels.... finding only spirits, demons, and ghouls.... Life is not always what you want, or what it seems. Sorry I'm the one that has to tell you it's only full of beautiful thoughts and dreams.............. smile.. you got to live another day. -Joey Diggs

Perception

I watch, seeing you sitting there

looking so saddened and somber.

Unkept beard, thinning grey hair

couldn’t appear any more calmer.

Couldn’t help myself but to think

“what’s wrong in that head?”

Thinking, “could I buy you a drink?”

“Quite possibly a loaf of bread?”

Children walk on the other side

as they cautiously, yet hastily skip by.

While managing your dignity and pride

you don’t waste life wondering why.

Though, I now wish that my realization

of inaccuracy had come much sooner…

because after all this time,

I’ve come to find…

..you were just waiting for an Uber.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on January 23, 2018 in poetry, writing

 

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Liebster Award

Image result for Liebster award

Hello again,

I am writing about the Liebster Award today thanks to a nomination from Jeannette over at her site, My Life with PTSD & Bipolar-Mental Heath Matters.   You can find her HERE.

She has an amazing Blog where she writes about Mental Heath topics. Everything from Finding Happiness, depression to Inspirational quotations. Check it out !!!

So without further adieu….

The Official Rules of the Liebster Award 2018

Each blog gets one entry. To enter you must:

  • Link to this blog post in your Liebster Award blog post
  • Answer the questions given to you (if nominated, if you were not nominated you can use my questions)
  • Create more questions for your nominees to answer (I’m looking for unique and creative ones)
  • Comment on this blog post with a link DIRECTLY to your Liebster award. To make it easy for me to read them all.

Entries start 1st Jan 2018 and ends on 25th Dec 2018. The winner will be picked on the 31st of December.

So for the questions Jeannette asked…

Nominee Questions:

  1. 1. If you could pick one thing you are most proud of about your blog, what would it be?

  2. 2. What kinds of self-care tips do you use while writing?

  3. 3. Describe your ideal writing space?

  4. 4. Write a 5 word tagline that you would put on your blog.

  5. 5. What drives you to write a blog on mental health?

  6. 6. What inspired you to blog?

ANSWERS:

  1. The feedback and flattering responses from all the followers that stop in and read … it’s just amazing when it touches someone and reaches out to someone just at the right moment that they needed it.
  2. Breathing and alone time…
  3. I love writing in a quiet comfortable spot.. in bed, or on the couch alone. QUIET… did I mention quiet?
  4. Can you hear me now?
  5. Life.  Therapy.  The desire to help others which in return helps myself.
  6. I just wanted to write somewhere other than a journal.  I was honestly just curious to see if anyone would like what I had to say…

So now with that said.. Here are my questions for the next set of nominees:

  1. Can you recall the moment you realized that writing was your outlet? If so, please share.
  2. What is it about Blogging that you enjoy the most?
  3. If you could hang out with a writer or artist from the past, for a day..  Who? and Why?
  4. The one place in the world that you want to visit but can’t seem to make it happen?
  5. What do you feel is the one thing in this world that your life is missing? What could you do to try and make this possible?

Thanks again Jeannette, this was a bunch of fun! Take care all and enjoy.

 
22 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2018 in Awards, Mental Health, writing

 

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Where all the extra thoughts go

I observe all things around me

I analyze and write what I see,

extra trimmings which remain unwritten

freely spill over into a dream.

They all seem to come together

to create something shockingly new,

My mind never achieves conception

of what is made up and what is true.

In this world I’ve come to know

often the only one I can honestly trust,

takes the leftover thoughts of my day

and transforms them into lust.

This is where I can truly be me

no pressure of love and fear,

for the second my eyes do open

the evidence will disappear.

The sadness will come when I awake

when I realize for now it is gone,

I just need to try and remind myself

awaiting tonights advent won’t be long…

 

 

 
36 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2018 in My day, poetry, writing

 

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Case Closed

I heard someone once say…

you can’t put your arms around a memory.

I’ll never let that get the better of me,

for in a dream you walk the streets,

spray can in your hand

asking the world if it were “FREE?”

 

Desolate streets, hours past midnight

feeling invincible with no one in sight,

Tagging “SK” on concrete walls of buildings

Just laughing throughout the night

 

Carefully, methodically constructing rhymes

written to the melody, sounds and beat,

made by the tones of your Nike, Air Force Ones

as they rhythmically pound on the street.

 

A wildly ridiculous contagious laugh

in which everyone around you knows,

a dark hole exists in everyones soul now

love we all have for you, positively shows.

 

Missing that creativity consuming my life

all the more and more each day,

every time I come up with a new beat to share

well… there’s not much more I can say.

 

I will forever carry the memories with me

remembering the loyalty and love you’ve shown,

with your infamous Woozy Goose tattoo on my leg

I will never walk these desolate streets alone…

 

Miss you Casey, Aka: Case Closed, Woozy Goose

 

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© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

 
35 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2018 in Family, poetry, writing

 

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Mystery Blogger Award

img_20180116_220745-806200678.jpgHello All,

So here we go.  So graciously nominated for this Mystery Blogger Award by Daman over at ThisisDamanBlog. Please stop by her page and show some love, as it is filled with beautifully written poetry and color. This Mystery Blogger Award was originally created by Okoto Enigma. These are the rules for this nomination as follows:

Rules :

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award.
  5. Tell the readers three things about yourself.
  6. Nominate 10-20 people.
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice, with knee funny or weird question.
  9. Share a link to your best post(s).

 

The questions asked by Daman are..

Q: What is writing to you?

A: An escape to a world where I take everything that I have viewed, experienced and analyzed throughout my day and reiterate into my own words, feelings and understanding.

Q: Snapchat or Instagram?

A: Tough, I use both. Instagram is where I keep it PG and Snapchat I tend to get a little goofy and childish .. but for the sake of the question I choose Instagram.

Q: What is your favourite Enrique’s song?

A: Sooo… um I’m not closed minded when it comes to music but I have to sadly admit that I do not know of any Enrique songs. My girlfriend just busted out in song as I said that and told me to put “Hero”

Q: Pizza or Pasta?

A: Pizza ! Easier for on the go and easier to share.

Q: Do you believe in true love? If no. Why?

A: Yes. But finding it means you must know what it is like to have pain, so you have something to compare it to.

3 Things about myself:

1- I love anything and everything that has to do with creating art.  From painting to music, from writing to dancing… there is a beauty in creating something from nothing or being able to collaborate with another artist is just beautiful in so many ways.

2- I have a small infatuation with wanting to live in the early 1900’s and reliving it with the knowledge that I have now.  Although I’m not totally into Sci-Fi and time travel, I just think if you could pick me up and plop me down in 1902 I would be home.

3- I work for an assisted living facility and it is one of the greatest places I have ever worked.  The stories and wisdom and things you learn throughout your day (aside from patience) is priceless.

 

Links to my favorite posts…. (This is like a parent choosing a favorite child..):

1- Idle Hands=Death

2- Raise Up Your Glass

3- Case Closed

4- Sleep paralysis

 

And Finally the 5 Questions for those accepting my nomination…

  1. Favorite Novelist and Why?
  2. Favorite poet of all time and Why?
  3. Do you find yourself loving or hating our digital world?
  4. Do you think the digital world is better or worse for the writing world?
  5. Cats or Dogs?

Thanks again Daman, I had a lot of fun with this ! 🤗

 

 
28 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2018 in Awards, Inspiration, My day, writing

 

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Sleep paralysis

Mystifying and cryptic. 

Gloomy and apocalyptic….

 

This is how I envision

the theater in my head,

Feelings of the colors

black, drab and dark red.

Barbed wire around my lungs,

stabbing, restricting as I breath.

Fluid inside my heart turning black,

Boiling vigorously begins to seethe.

 

Dark dressed figures are filing in,

organizing a vast congregation.

Eerily anxiously waiting for,

a humiliating public castration.

Never given an adequate chance

to stand or walk tall,

Beaten down relentlessly

they forced me to crawl.

Similar to being stuck in a dream,

trying to fight but feeling too weak.

Opened my mouth attempting to scream,

only to find I can’t even speak.

 

Escaping to a hot desert scene

where I’m lying on the ground,

longing for a sudden death

as the vultures circle ’round.

I finally awake

as my eyes spring open,

Overwhelming panic

as my body lies frozen.

Cannot move or think

wanting to yell,

ultimate fear comes to life

as I’m stuck in this hell…

 

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
38 Comments

Posted by on January 14, 2018 in Mental Health, poetry, writing

 

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A year of sobriety

I know, I know I went the easy route by going sober in a year that only had 365.25 days in it, instead of going for the leap year with 366.  Ugh.. you can say I do the bare minimum.

One year ago today, January 13th, 2017 was my first day without a drink, or any other recreational drugs (weed).  Both of which I had leaned on for so many years to make me feel “normal” and “level”… only to find out that, I never actually knew what that meant.  So how can you bring yourself back to a baseline if you never knew what that was to begin with?

After trying to “Quit” drinking several times before… I would just go back to it even harder than before.  I was so skilled in the art of alcoholism that people during the day had no idea there was even an issue.  Until the “Jekyll and Hyde” would happen in the evenings.  Couple that with severe depression and anxiety with a touch of self mutilation, you can say life was a bit uncomfortable, to say the least.  After about 6 months of sobriety I started to realize that there was something else wrong.  My brain, head, thoughts, anxiety, depression and obsessions were in overdrive and I couldn’t get out of my front door on most days.  This scared the living shit out of me.  Staying awake for days on end, constantly shaking with random panic attacks, calling out of work because I thought I was “dying”.  I knew after the summer, around 9 months of sobriety that I needed to talk to a professional.

I had toyed with the idea several times, but would later talk myself out of it by convincing myself that I was being over dramatic and ridiculous.  So I made an appointment, with help from my mom (I’m 33 and still and always will be a momma’s boy).  The best idea I/we had ever made in my entire life.  I now see a shrink every week and after a careful two month evaluation it was suggested that I talk to my doctor about going on meds.  Long story shortened a little… I am still sober with no plan of ever going back to that place and I take meds to calm the shaking and my mind.  I am still a work in progress every day (like they say in AA, we strive for progress, not perfection).  “One day at a time.”

So as I move forward I need to keep my head up, the creative juices flowing and just breath and appreciate the little bit of time we have here.  Living it, not in fear or pain but in comfort with who I am and how I spend my time.  Not blaming or looking for “the reasons” for why things happen.  Sometimes it “just is…”

If you know someone that has an addiction, please reach out to them.

Thanks for reading!! 🤠

 

Picture was from my 30th, almost 4 years ago….   IMG_0885

 
42 Comments

Posted by on January 13, 2018 in Uncategorized

 
 
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