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Category Archives: My day

May history repeat itself?

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Trains overhead, steam coming from sidewalk grates

Finger numbness is second to the frost on my lips,

once again I have to try to get fare home for two

damned if I have to tap dance in the subway for tips.

I didn’t even want to come here in the first place,

as usual, I was just doing a favor, helping out a friend

a duplicated story because I don’t know how to say no,

so it always plays out that I get screwed in the end.

I paid for the train in, with a promise of a ride home,

showed up to the studio loft to find I wasn’t invited in,

had to find something to do for an hour or three

so cold that an ice cube would feel warm on my skin.

Panhandled all night and caught the first train home

barely a word was spoken, though I don’t think he cared,

to save a friendship, I’ll be the one to not let history repeat

for next time I’ll be ready and a bit more prepared.

 

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

 
25 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2018 in My day, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

 

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It’s okay to shut up

shh-why-we-say-shh-when-we-want-quiet-or-calm

Why be, if you cannot just be?

why look, if you cannot see?

why bother, if you do not care?

keep your foot in your mouth,

if you want to be fair.

You do not always have to speak.

It is not a rule that you must engage.

If pretension of attention is what you seek,

then join a musical, if you desire a stage.

But you can leave me the hell out of it.

As I didn’t ask to be the butt of your joke.

You could probably remove the foot now,

although I’d love to see you choke.

 

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
15 Comments

Posted by on March 17, 2018 in My day, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

 

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Where all the extra thoughts go

I observe all things around me

I analyze and write what I see,

extra trimmings which remain unwritten

freely spill over into a dream.

They all seem to come together

to create something shockingly new,

My mind never achieves conception

of what is made up and what is true.

In this world I’ve come to know

often the only one I can honestly trust,

takes the leftover thoughts of my day

and transforms them into lust.

This is where I can truly be me

no pressure of love and fear,

for the second my eyes do open

the evidence will disappear.

The sadness will come when I awake

when I realize for now it is gone,

I just need to try and remind myself

awaiting tonights advent won’t be long…

 

© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

 

 
36 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2018 in My day, poetry, writing

 

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Mystery Blogger Award

img_20180116_220745-806200678.jpgHello All,

So here we go.  So graciously nominated for this Mystery Blogger Award by Daman over at ThisisDamanBlog. Please stop by her page and show some love, as it is filled with beautifully written poetry and color. This Mystery Blogger Award was originally created by Okoto Enigma. These are the rules for this nomination as follows:

Rules :

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  2. List the rules.
  3. Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award.
  5. Tell the readers three things about yourself.
  6. Nominate 10-20 people.
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice, with knee funny or weird question.
  9. Share a link to your best post(s).

 

The questions asked by Daman are..

Q: What is writing to you?

A: An escape to a world where I take everything that I have viewed, experienced and analyzed throughout my day and reiterate into my own words, feelings and understanding.

Q: Snapchat or Instagram?

A: Tough, I use both. Instagram is where I keep it PG and Snapchat I tend to get a little goofy and childish .. but for the sake of the question I choose Instagram.

Q: What is your favourite Enrique’s song?

A: Sooo… um I’m not closed minded when it comes to music but I have to sadly admit that I do not know of any Enrique songs. My girlfriend just busted out in song as I said that and told me to put “Hero”

Q: Pizza or Pasta?

A: Pizza ! Easier for on the go and easier to share.

Q: Do you believe in true love? If no. Why?

A: Yes. But finding it means you must know what it is like to have pain, so you have something to compare it to.

3 Things about myself:

1- I love anything and everything that has to do with creating art.  From painting to music, from writing to dancing… there is a beauty in creating something from nothing or being able to collaborate with another artist is just beautiful in so many ways.

2- I have a small infatuation with wanting to live in the early 1900’s and reliving it with the knowledge that I have now.  Although I’m not totally into Sci-Fi and time travel, I just think if you could pick me up and plop me down in 1902 I would be home.

3- I work for an assisted living facility and it is one of the greatest places I have ever worked.  The stories and wisdom and things you learn throughout your day (aside from patience) is priceless.

 

Links to my favorite posts…. (This is like a parent choosing a favorite child..):

1- Idle Hands=Death

2- Raise Up Your Glass

3- Case Closed

4- Sleep paralysis

 

And Finally the 5 Questions for those accepting my nomination…

  1. Favorite Novelist and Why?
  2. Favorite poet of all time and Why?
  3. Do you find yourself loving or hating our digital world?
  4. Do you think the digital world is better or worse for the writing world?
  5. Cats or Dogs?

Thanks again Daman, I had a lot of fun with this ! 🤗

 

 
30 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2018 in Awards, Inspiration, My day, writing

 

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Is Doing Nothing a Waste of Time?

The question proposed, Is Doing Nothing a Waste of Time? primarily comes from the matter of feelings. .. .  Allow me to illustrate.

If we DO something, it is usually for the excitement or pleasure that we get out of it, right?  So for example, if you are going for a bike ride, to feel the wind tickle your face and to grasp that childish sensation of freedom … then why would it be any less praiseworthy if, while you were sitting on the porch with your feet up, you were able to bring forth just as much joy into sitting and staring off into space?

I feel that when I sit for a long period of time just thinking and scribbling, I start to introduce a feeling of guilt or shame (usually if it tends to last for days).  Not sure why I feel this way.  I catch myself comparing my actions and hobbies to others around me, or with the things that I used to do to keep myself occupied.  My battle with mental health being that I change so much, so rapidly.  It’s difficult and often downright impossible to keep up.

Maybe I just don’t want to go for a walk.

Maybe I don’t want to go out to dinner.

Maybe I don’t want to clean the basement.

Maybe I don’t want to…… “DO” anything.

I’m more than content hanging out with me in my head for now.  I do not need a distraction to get away from myself… and that is the first time in a long time that I have been able to say that.  There is a possibility that this feeling may only last another five minutes BUT,  It feels great.  I truly love me today…. or at least for right now.  For in this moment, I am okay with Doing Nothing.  So for in this moment the answer is No, it is not a waste of time.

At first this was just a typing rant, not meant to be posted but, hey who cares?  I’m gonna hit the PUBLISH tab anyways… 

 

 

© 2017 Joseph Emerson WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
34 Comments

Posted by on December 10, 2017 in Mental Health, My day, writing

 

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Keyboard Tough Guys

Foolish simple men acting fearless behind their keyboards,

spewing hate from their guts towards anyone they can.

Displaying their intellect using an array of four letter words,

might as well have a bio pic wearing the hood of the Klan.

*

Their anger inside leaks out profusely as they assault,

silly and pathetic, and really makes you think.

That somehow, in some way, it is not quite their fault,

compensating for where they come up short… wink, wink.

 

…… I have to admit, I let someones words get to me today.  For no real rational reason I was physically threatened by someone here on WordPress.  I commented on a post thinking I was being supportive as I often do… as we all do, and all I can honestly think is he may have taken it the wrong way? (but I really can’t see how)      I now feel sorry that people need to act like that to prove something.  I will honestly admit that there was a long stretch in my life where I was that man (boy).  So I also feel that I can say from experience that, it is a major insecurity issue mixed with immaturity.  I hope nobody has to deal with this guy as he is every bit of the word, nasty ( to say the least)  I felt that this website was a great place for sharing and for artistic expression that truly doesn’t have a place for that behavior.  I’m just trying to keep my chin up and push through and hope that it was just a fluke situation that I can put it in the past.  I am more upset that I let it drag me down for most of my day.  In a sense he won.   I hope nobody here, ever lets someones words hurt you or puts a hiccup in your inspiration to create.   Take care and happy writing.

 

 

© 2017 Joseph Emerson WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

 
23 Comments

Posted by on December 9, 2017 in My day, poetry, writing

 

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If at first you don’t succeed …

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Art and Photo by Me

I start by pacing the charcoal pencil back and forth, hovering slightly over the sketchbook page.  Waiting for the hand to fall, allowing the charcoal point to make its first mark.  To establish the starting point of this slow, drawn out affair of creative incubation.  The charcoal begins to leave it’s first line, resembling the contrail following a jet plane, it sets about it’s own story.  Of where it has been and the endless possibilities of where it may go.  With this in mind I let the feeling mentor the hand, in opposition of the mind setting stringent rules and boundaries, which may allow the imagination to grow musty and clichéd.  Moments pass and the fury continues in increasing potency.  Scribbling and smudging, erasing and rubbing.  Until there’s midnight black power covering both hands, the thighs of my khaki pants, my upper brow and of course that poor sheet of paper.  The natural euphoria wears off and my worst critic comes into view.  Myself.  I stand back and intellectually think   …..    “what the fuck is that?”

So I tear up the scribbled on page and picked up my guitar instead. lol

 

 

© 2017 Joseph Emerson WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 
3 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Inspiration, My day

 

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