if any worsening of symptoms


The bright white round one is to lift me up,

plus an off-white oblong one to help calm me down.

It may seem a little illogical and unreasonable,

also, I can’t promise you, they’ll keep away the frown.

You may say that it seems rather counterintuitive

like taking out a loan to pay off an equal debt,

or purchasing a million dollars in lottery tickets to,

win a million dollars? seemingly the worlds stupidest bet.

But the thing is, I have been feeling much better

since I have been traveling along this new path,

It beats the hell out of the alternative side of me

when the anxiety and depression are on a warpath.

I don’t like being torn down, limb by limb like a tree

that’s vulnerable to a logger wielding his chainsaw,

or being trapped by my dark isolating depression

like a frozen duck stuck in the ice just waiting to thaw.

I’ve tried to do this the “natural way” but to no avail

as the craziness inside increased and grew much stronger,

So I may not be completely against feeling a bit dazed

if it means that I won’t feel that profound pain any longer.



© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com


  1. I understand this post. There seems to be a taboo around taking medication for anxiety and depression. Sometimes it’s hard facing society openly about these issues. But I believe people who are quick to judge others for choosing to do so are people who have never felt the pain and the anxiety and therefore will never understand. So you do whatever it takes to make you feel good 👍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. I wasn’t too fond of this one. I posted it anyway. It didn’t feel like my rhythm or flow, but it was something that I wanted to get off of my chest…mainly because I had just been put on the second med. This piece probably won’t make it to the final draft of the book. hmmm Thank you so much for reading. I’m gonna put the pen to the pad and see what flows tonight.

      Liked by 1 person

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