May history repeat itself?

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Trains overhead, steam coming from sidewalk grates

Finger numbness is second to the frost on my lips,

once again I have to try to get fare home for two

damned if I have to tap dance in the subway for tips.

I didn’t even want to come here in the first place,

as usual, I was just doing a favor, helping out a friend

a duplicated story because I don’t know how to say no,

so it always plays out that I get screwed in the end.

I paid for the train in, with a promise of a ride home,

showed up to the studio loft to find I wasn’t invited in,

had to find something to do for an hour or three

so cold that an ice cube would feel warm on my skin.

Panhandled all night and caught the first train home

barely a word was spoken, though I don’t think he cared,

to save a friendship, I’ll be the one to not let history repeat

for next time I’ll be ready and a bit more prepared.

 

 

Β© 2018 Joseph Emerson @ WhatsInsideAMadmansHat.com

 

33 thoughts on “May history repeat itself? Leave a comment

      1. Sorry for your crappy night, but again your poem was terrific. You are very good at being descriptive when you write to the extent that I can visualize the setting like I am there and I can feel and see the cold. Brrr… Nicely done. Sue

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You have a way … Poetic yet real…you talk to us but you’re also just speaking to yourself. You share your thoughts, but you keep so many close to your chest. I am liking you, J

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. That is one of the nicest comments I have received. I am truly flattered and joyed that you enjoy my work. As long as the suppressed memories and odd ways my head interpret situations keep flowing, I’ll keep delivering. Thank you again for the encouragement, as a lot of the time I write for myself, the friends here that enjoy it keeps me wanting to post it for everyone πŸ‘
      🎩

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Really? I am so happy that I could be a special part of this blogging world for you 😏
        In a previous blog, which had to be euthanised, I think I used to write more for others, then for me and another person…now I just write to not sink into the dark depths of my own self. I don’t know why I am telling you this, you just seem very sweet and genuine. Your blog makes me smile and feel.things which is needed, isn’t it? You can call me M, btw- I don’t know if I told you that already.
        Today is a dark day for me, and I don’t know exactly why…lots of tears and epiphanies I guess. I feel at a loss somewhat but, this little exchange has made me smile and feel a little lighter.
        I tend to be overly honest and outpoury if that makes sense, so you’ll have to excuse me if I seem odd. I am. But kind of sweet too, I have my moments. Always look forward to reading you and feel happy when I see you have read something I’ve bled out.
        Hugs πŸ–€

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you M, If you have nothing going on that “Needs” to be done right now. I am telling you to write! Now! When you’re feeling the way you are right now, there is no better, more intense burning fuel for the fire. Even if it doesn’t make sense and at this moment… that’s what editing is for. Get it out and break down that wall. Cry, scream, and yell it through the pen and keyboard. I promise you will feel unleashed. πŸ‘
        🎩

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You may be right, J. Feel like you reached into my mind, gave it a little massage and blew away a few cobwebs.
        In a very short space of time, I appreciate you so much. Why am I teary again?!!! Stop it!!!
        Okay, thank you for your words πŸ–€

        Liked by 1 person

      4. πŸ‘ Use pictures or old notebooks. Go for a walk. These are all great fire starters. If you’re anything like me writing gets it out. It’s a good positive way to burn off that mental energy. Get that rhythm going. 🎩

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Well… you were right. I wrote a huge bleed of embarrassing feelings, and my tears have dried. I guess you somehow know me!!!
        Seriously though, thank you for being sweet to a random person who likes your blog. I guess we are a little alike.
        Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Very welcomeπŸ‘ Glad it worked or I may have looked like a total ass. haha. I am just paying the motivation forward. Sometimes I need that little nudge, so I know when to give it to others.
        🎩

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ohhhhh, I am so sorry you went through that. You know the old saying… “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” It is a difficult lesson to learn. Take it as a lesson learned and in the future read this poem again BEFORE making any decisions with this individual. People let us down… or perhaps they don’t really. It is our expectations of others that let us down. We writers and artists are a sensitive lot. We take everything to heart and expect those around us to think and feel to the same depth as we do. They usually don’t. I am twice your age and I am still learning that lesson. It is difficult to fathom why others don’t have the same compassion as we do. But, in order to make it through this life, we have to stop expecting others to think like we do and make decisions based on what we WANT to do or do not want to do. I have two sons, one older than you and one a few years younger than you. My first instinct is to give you a comforting hug, but it appears the beautiful poem you wrote gave us all a hug. Good job Joseph. Still… the mother and teacher that I am, hurts that you were hurt from this experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. For the kind words and the insight. I always tell my girlfriend that she gets hurt more from the expectations, but a lot of the time I’m better at speaking than doing. I’m glad you liked this. I’m also glad that this happened to me, as it is one of the thousands of situations that will help write my book haha
      You are always so kind and I always appreciate your comments and kindness. πŸ€—
      🎩

      Liked by 1 person

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