Tag Archives: funny

“Signs point to Yes!”


Well I struck out big time

called a swing and a miss,

I read that play all wrong,

she didn’t want that kiss.

Asked God to give me a sign

some advice on this courtship,

he dropped the damn ball again

That’s it! He’s getting a pink slip.

Like, for real dude? Come on.

It was an easy fifty-fifty call,

I wouldn’t have pegged ya for

a believer in a Magic Eight-ball!

I know you think I’m being silly

’cause she doesn’t want to be mine,

but I wasted our entire friendship

not to mention both of our time.

She is the one who is missing out,

I’m the best guy she has ever known,

yet I’m alone sitting home blaming God,

for the chance that I have single-handedly blown.



© 2018 Joseph Emerson @



Posted by on April 1, 2018 in poetry, Uncategorized, writing


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Lost, and… found?


I always joke and say, you can’t lose what you never had,

so what if I needed cash, and sold my mind in a want-ad?

I felt it was like useless junk that I hoarded between my ears,

if I’m being honest, I don’t think I had used it in like 20 years.

Just made me do a bunch of nonsense that I never wanted to do,

Drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll, just to name a few.

Sure, it took me to great places, but it was always on My dime,

it also used me and abused me when I was young and in my prime.

If I think about it, I never had it, because I was never in control

however, control is just an illusion, so I had never made it my goal.

Nevertheless, I am a bit older now and would like to give it another try,

to the person who bought it, if you’re reading could you please press reply?

I’ll gladly pay what you paid, or if you want me to pay interest I shall,

I can make out a check, send cash, or credit or if it’s easier to use Paypal?



© 2018 Joseph Emerson @




Posted by on March 23, 2018 in poetry, Uncategorized, writing


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It’s okay to shut up


Why be, if you cannot just be?

why look, if you cannot see?

why bother, if you do not care?

keep your foot in your mouth,

if you want to be fair.

You do not always have to speak.

It is not a rule that you must engage.

If pretension of attention is what you seek,

then join a musical, if you desire a stage.

But you can leave me the hell out of it.

As I didn’t ask to be the butt of your joke.

You could probably remove the foot now,

although I’d love to see you choke.



© 2018 Joseph Emerson @


Posted by on March 17, 2018 in My day, poetry, Uncategorized, writing


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Killer Bee.


Trapped between the curtains and glass

you can feel remorse for this honey bee,

earlier he did nothing but glance and pass

at no time was there a sign he’d hurt thee.

Funny how something the size of an acorn

can bring a grown man to his knees,

it’s really nothing more than a flying thorn,

you could pinch it in a tissue with ease.

Sure, if you’re allergic it could kill you

but the same could also go for a peanut,

leave him alone if you don’t want him to,

maybe next time you’ll keep the damn door shut.

So don’t kill the lil’ guy who’s just buzzing by

and happened to admire your flowers,

all because you’re embarrassed by how,

you’ve been screaming and flailing for hours.



© 2018 Joseph Emerson @




Posted by on March 7, 2018 in poetry, Uncategorized, writing


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Put that in your pipe and smoke it


What is this stuff

that makes me so numb?

You can roll it, and burn it

and it makes you feel dumb?

Wow that sounds great

sure, you can sign me up.

I love wasting my time

who’s got the hook-up?

Only have to meet a stranger

with a pocket full of cash?

Then hope for the best

he won’t rob and kick my ass?

Geez, and all this time

I’ve been playing it safe.

I was told it would kill me

when I was just a small waif.

Young and naive

I listened to the warning.

Come to find,

my life was just boring?

Inhaling tons of food.

“Where the hell are my keys?”

I swear I’d go crazy

If I wasn’t so “at ease.”

On second thought.

I think I might pass.

I happen to like how I am…

without any grass.


© 2018 Joseph Emerson @





Posted by on February 22, 2018 in poetry, writing


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If at first you don’t succeed …


Art and Photo by Me

I start by pacing the charcoal pencil back and forth, hovering slightly over the sketchbook page.  Waiting for the hand to fall, allowing the charcoal point to make its first mark.  To establish the starting point of this slow, drawn out affair of creative incubation.  The charcoal begins to leave it’s first line, resembling the contrail following a jet plane, it sets about it’s own story.  Of where it has been and the endless possibilities of where it may go.  With this in mind I let the feeling mentor the hand, in opposition of the mind setting stringent rules and boundaries, which may allow the imagination to grow musty and clichéd.  Moments pass and the fury continues in increasing potency.  Scribbling and smudging, erasing and rubbing.  Until there’s midnight black power covering both hands, the thighs of my khaki pants, my upper brow and of course that poor sheet of paper.  The natural euphoria wears off and my worst critic comes into view.  Myself.  I stand back and intellectually think   …..    “what the fuck is that?”

So I tear up the scribbled on page and picked up my guitar instead. lol



© 2017 Joseph Emerson


Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Inspiration, My day


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